Anywhere you travel in SE Asia, you’ll find some one trying to sell you something you don’t need. Most are easy-going and friendly, while others can be annoyingly persistent, and a few of them can be a real pain in the ass.
The tuk tuk and moto-taxi drivers can be the most persistent — it’s low season here and everyone is hungry for business. “Hello, sir. One hour tour, very cheap!” is the usual opening line. That tour will include a couple of stops at popular sites and even more stops at over-priced shops, where you’ll be pressured to buy a rug or a suit. Time after time, I see tourists fall for this approach and pile in for a ride they’ll regret.
In Cambodia, the moto touts will ask you for business every time you pass — even if you just said no to the guy sitting right next to them. I’ve walked down streets with a dozen touts lined up side-by-side and each asked me if I needed a ride. By the time I reached my hotel, I’d shaken my head so many times that I was dizzy.
If you do pay for a ride somewhere, you’ll be quizzed relentlessly about your plans for the rest of your stay and will often find the driver waiting outside your hotel in the morning, just in case you need a ride. I’ve had tuk tuk drivers stalk me for blocks in Phnom Penh, only leaving after I approached them and explained that they were seriously pissing me off and were wasting their time, because I would never hire them now.
Of course, these guys have more on offer than just transportation. A “horny massage” is a popular option in Bangkok, while touts in smaller towns will recommend a “very strong” massage, an offer that is accompanied by a stroking motion of their hand to make sure you get the message.
In the red light district of Bangkok, old men stand by corners and wave you over with a whispered “you want lady?” They always have a full-color brochure that shows a photo of about fifteen naked women standing in a line. The women are carefully arranged so that each lady’s naughty bits are covered by the naughty bits of the woman in front of them. The end result is that you never actually see any naughty bits at all, but you certainly get the message.
The irony of this situation is that the old man is invariably standing right next to a line of prostitutes who are actively seeking business. If ever there was a unnecessary middle man, this guy is it — I imagine that if you expressed any interest, he would just turn to his left and introduce you to the girl nearest him.
If you’re not looking for love, touts can help with other entertainment as well — marijuana being the most common offer. “Looking to buy?” is the most common phrase in Cambodia. In Saigon, they’re a little more blunt: “Marijuana?” One offered to sell me a gram of cocaine for only 1,500,000 dong (about $80 US) and was rather shocked when I didn’t pounce on the offer.
In Phnom Penh, tuk tuk drivers were eager to take me to the shooting range, where –for a large sum– I could fire a machine gun or even blow up a cow with an RPG. You don’t find that kind of fun at Disneyland.
The street kids in Cambodia can be the most heart-breaking and frustrating. They really know how to pull your strings and guilt you into buying over-priced books or flowers. Any resistance is met with a comment of “You no buy, make me cry” or “Sorry doesn’t feed me!” Sometimes, it can get very ugly.
Another popular service is ‘helping’ with passports or visa applications — these touts like to hang out by embassies and at border crossings. They stand next to a uniformed guard, or sometimes even in a booth, where they’ll gladly help you fill out a few lines worth of paperwork and tack on an extra $5 or more to the cost. This is useful, I suppose, if you are incapable of writing your own name and passport number.
I think Pattaya –Thailand’s Sin City– was the worse I’ve experienced yet. Before even reaching the beach, I was talked into getting a henna tattoo and a pedicure. The tattoo only cost 200 baht because I insisted on setting a price upfront — an Aussie I met later that day skipped this step and paid 2,000 baht ($60 US) for his. The tattoo stained my favorite shirt and the nail polish from the pedicure was soon covered in sand, which gave me a sexy Fred Flintstone look.
Relaxing on the beach there proved impossible, as I was interrupted every 30 seconds by someone wanting to sell me something. The variety of products on offer was impressive: steamed shrimp, squid, roasted corn, ice cream, rare gems, balloons, inner tubes, more tattoos, sunglasses, cheesy holographic prints, watches, beach balls, laminated maps of Thailand, back scratchers, manicure kits, steamed clams, newspapers, and even toilet paper. At times, there was a queue of touts, waiting their turn at me.
I’ve never been so popular.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
Hahaha, what would you want with an inner tube anyway?
Here in Georgetown you can barely move an inch without one of a million tri-shaw drivers asking if you want to go somewhere. The only time we actually sought one out to take us to Gurney Drive food court about two or three miles from where we were, he quoted us about three times the price of a taxi and roughly the same price as our hotel room. We caught a bus instead for practically nothing.
Shame really, I quite fancied a ride in one of those tri-shaw things.
.-= Brendan´s last blog ..My first visit to a Malaysian barbers. =-.
I took the train from Bangkok to Cambodia and was given very strict instructions by the Two Dragons crew to absolutely not talk to any touts at the border because if I even acknowledged them that would mean I accepted their help and the visa fee at the border would double.
At first I thought no problem but I found it very difficult to not even acknowledge a human life form in front of me. However, it was sound advice, I got through fine while many of the other travelers were paying significantly more for their visas for no real reason.
I loved Cambodia but it was a challenging experience.
.-= ayngelina´s last blog ..Photography Burnout in Honduras =-.
yeah, the border is a rough place. If you survive the crossing, it’s all downhill after that…
Sounds very intense but it’s all part of the place I guess. I can understand how fustrating it must get though, lets see how I cope later in the year.
I agree — it ‘s part of the experience. If you just remember to laugh at it, it isn’t too bad.
Well then, I guess being incredibly hostile and unwelcoming will prove useful for this issue…
Besides getting pissed, was there anything else that you saw worked with others, like say carrying around a water gun and spraying?
Haha, I love the water gun idea. Alas, I’ve yet to find a magic phrase that will make them leave you alone. Not making eye contact and just shaking your head is the most effective thing I’ve found, but it isn’t foolproof :/
I don’t imagine these places to have avid family guy fans: I can see myself (as a family guy cartoon) chasing after them incessantly and insanely in English, mimicking their sales style until they run away scared. Shucks!
.-= Jen´s last blog ..Weekend Update: 6/5/2010 =-.
I found it pretty mild in Malaysia, with it heating up in Vietnam. Most that I’ve found have been surprisingly good with my no-thanks-hand-wave-head-shake combo. I fear that Thailand and Cambodia will be taking it up a notch or 7 though.
.-= Dustin Main – Skinny Backpacker´s last blog ..Photo of the Day – Bat Exodus =-.
I love how right after getting out of a taxi on Khaoson Road they would offer me a ride. I don’t really know what to say except just laugh. I prefer the metered taxi as long as they actually turn it on.
.-= Vincent´s last blog ..Koh Phangan Night Market =-.
haha, yeah it makes no sense. And taxis are the way to go — tuk tuks will rob you blind.
Interesting low down on the tout action. What’s even more interesting the type you attract. As a chick, doubt someone would offer me “naked girl”. LOL. Or would they?
.-= Nomadic Chick´s last blog ..How To: Get Rid of Clothes =-.
It really depends on where you are–I’ve found it worse in some parts of cities. My vision of hell is the Luohu Commercial Mall in Shenzhen–I came close to throwing a few hawkers over the fifth-floor railing after they grabbed me and tried to drag me into shops.
I was surprised in Bali that I got a great deal on all-day taxi. The driver never insisted on taking us to over-priced shops (except when we asked to stop for a bathroom and he took us to a jewelry store, but said we didn’t have to buy anything) and never asked for more than the original $35 for a 10-hour tour.
.-= Chinamatt´s last blog ..Strangers on a Bus =-.